I’m Afraid of Change

Change is an inevitable part of life.

It happens every single day and I’m used to the little changes – how some days I feel energized and happy and other days I feel sluggish and restless – but the big changes make me run in fear.

Since being an adult, I’ve already experienced a lot of big life changes, but there’s one coming up that feels bigger than any other to date.

I’m graduating with my Master’s Degree.

I don’t intend to go back to school so for the first time in . . . my entire life, school is off the table. I wont’ be in it and I won’t be planning to go back to it.

I’ll be forging a completely new path for my life.

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Logically, I know that this is good because change is healthy. Emotionally, I feel resistant and uninspired.

Logically, I know that there are myriad options available to me. Emotionally, I feel that I’m going to log in to job boards and find absolutely nothing available for my skill set.

Logically, I already know what I want to do and that there will be plenty of places where I can apply. Emotionally, I feel like I’m just lying to myself so that it will seem like I have a plan.

Change means making decisions.

And I’m not great at trusting my intuition or believing that I’m capable of making good choices. 

I’m not going to be able to get through this upcoming change if I talk to myself like that, though.

Reframing how I speak to myself is going to be a big part of barreling through this next year. I’ve gotten really proficient at being kind to myself in regards to my personality, but I still need to work on being kinder to myself when it comes to my abilities and dreams.

Facing change requires being kind to yourself.

Instead of saying “I’m afraid of change” I can start telling myself:

“I’m capable of making smart choices and facing this change with confidence.”

Even better I can say:

“I make smart choices and face change with confidence.”

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Change is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to be scary. It can be exciting and it is a great opportunity for personal growth and development.

Is there a big change coming up in your life? What’s a positive mantra you can repeat to yourself to help you get through it?

18 thoughts on “I’m Afraid of Change

  1. This post was what I needed right now!! I’ve had some big changes over the past few weeks and I’m so used to just being in my ‘comfort zone’- even though I’m not happy being in it! It seems that I retreat to this ‘comfort place’ when I don’t want to break the peace! I’ve certainly come to learn that you should care about your wellbeing and whether that change is good for you (9/10 time is). It’s just finding the confidence to go with your own actions and believing in yourself! loved this! x

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  2. Thanks Chloe-louise! I’m glad that it resonated with you. Good luck as your journey through present and coming life changes. It sounds like you have the right mindset to confront and conquer change!

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  3. I am going through significant changes in my life and relate to everything you mentioned.

    The thing with change is that we have allowed others to make us think change is bad. Furthermore, we also tend to use positivity to judge ourselves because we allow change to get the best of us.

    Our minds know change is necessary. Then we use that knowledge to criticize ourselves when we feel fear about upcoming change.

    What has worked for me is to embrace the fears, doubts, and worries as part of the growth process.

    They are all yellow lights working to serve me. They aren’t red lights telling me to stop.

    Spending more time focused on what I want seems more periscope than worrying about the doubts and the change.

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  4. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, CrazyPanamanian. I definitely have let others’ fool me into thinking that change is bad – or fool me into thinking that I can’t make the best out of change. I think that it’s a tough balance to consider the opinions or concerns of others while staying true to yourself. Your point to embrace the fears and worries is a great strategy. The more we resist how we feel, the more how we feel haunts us.

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  5. First thing that ever worked for me when listening to other’s opinons: consider the source and make that they think.

    If they aren’t successful in the area I want, their opinion doesn’t count. If they have 0 experience in what they are talking about, their opinion doesn’t count. If they are simply relaying what they heard or read somewhere as something they believe, their opinion doesn’t count.

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  6. I love your honest ambivalence and think out loud style. And the post itself is esthetically pleasing. I’d like to pay more attention to that design aspect. Thanks for reading and liking my post.

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  7. Change is just HARD. For some of us more than others. This idea has helped me. “just because it is hard doesn’t mean I am doing something wrong.” On top of the difficulties of navigating a new path, we do not also need guilt and shame and anxiety about how hard it is… Sounds like you are pretty proactive. Creative outlets, connection to nature, exercise, and affirming community are the best supports for me when life is hard.

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  8. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. I totally resonate with the supports you listed! I feel like no matter what changes in my life, there are some things that can remain constant and that is those creative outlets and connection to nature.

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  9. Gosh, you could have been writing about me! I hate most change too which is one reason why I don’t like travelling! Too much change all at once. I guess there are just some of us who treasure our routines. Mind you, who knows what I may have missed out on over the years? I guess it’s a tradeoff.

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  10. Yes, I think it’s important to consider the outcomes of change and if the challenge of processing change will be worth what you get out of it – if that makes sense? If you would love to travel somewhere and you think it would fulfill you then I say you make a plan and go do it! It’s not like your routines will be forever disrupted and hopefully you will enjoy yourself and feel better for having done it.

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  11. I appreciate your depiction of the disconnect between the mind and the heart. Often what “makes sense” and what “feels right” are in conflict and neither options are unequivocally “correct.”

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  12. Hey Trish. I’m thinking about this subject, too, and can absolutely relate. Change is something that can unsettle even the most confident person. Those like me whose mental health is a bit “wobbly” – it’s often a real issue. I’m mid-writing a post on our upcoming office move. It’s not a huge life-change, but it makes a huge impact on my daily life and therefore is a big deal to me. Not an easy one with no simple solutions, but an important point to discuss. Much love. Heather x

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