I have a blog post due next week, of the normal variety, which I hope I won’t give up on, but I really feel like giving up because I have WAY TOO MANY THOUGHTS that I’ve been suppressing in my mind from abject horror.
For the past week, I have been very deep down an Internet rabbit hole of scammers, con-artists, and peddlers of “miracles.” It all started with the YouTube channel, Jeff Holiday, which is to say nothing against him because as far as I can tell he’s a very kind person trying to expose evils in the world and teach people to think critically, but the con-artists he reveals have just cracked any hope I had in the goodness of people and flushed it down the toilet. I shall carry on repressing my current personal feelings of my own utter unlikeableness by looking at all these assholes trying to convince you that BIG PHARMA IS THE DEVIL BECAUSE THEY’RE GREEDY but hey, spend obnoxious amounts of money on their “natural” product. Or their process that’s way better than what the so called professionals use. Yes, they are not ruled by greed at all because they are against big pharma. Come to the naturopath side, we have salve that will destroy your cells. You can drink bleach and poop out parasites. No, no, no that’s not mucous or anything like that. That’s a big worm you just pooped out, don’t worry, the bleach is cleansing you. You have to pay top dollar, and then pay again for inevitable actual medical treatment, or even cosmetic surgery, but these products are natural, or at the very least not going to be prescribed to you by a licensed medical professional, so they work. It’s not scary at all over here in the woods where we practice earthing because, well, you know, do we really have to explain it to you?
I may have lost my mind in this, but hey, here are some fun things to ruin your faith in humanity, if I may so rudely pull you down this rabbit hole with me:
1. Miracle Mineral Solution or MMS – let it be known, in case you are tempted by the word miracle, this is not a miracle, and it will, in fact, be the slow death of you.
2.Teal Swan and the Completion Process
3. Barbara Snow and the supposed abusive cults of the satanic panic, which is all weirdly tied up in Teal Swan’s messed up, fabricated history of satanic abuse.
4. Urine Therapy
5. Dr. Bergman
6. Food Babe
7. Multi-level Marketing scams
8. Black Salve (don’t google if squeamish, which I know means that you absolutely 100% will now go Google, so have fun).
9. Jilly Juice
In a twisted way, I’m kind of enjoying the dark rabbit hole because to me, this is all so clear cut and obviously wrong. It can get exhausting to search for nuances and understand all sides of an argument, but with these brilliant examples of disguised evil, I find that there isn’t any nuance. It’s wrong. It’s deceitful. It’s illegal. It’s unethical and immoral. Well, Food Babe is perhaps not so much wrong as she is just incredibly dumb. Or, you know, maybe really smart because she knows what kinds of buzz words and topics will attract a fringe group of dedicated wackos to her. But, be it ignorance or genius, there is no excuse. It’s sort of fun because it makes me so mad and it’s nice to feel passionate about something. It’s nice to feel like I have standards and I have a belief system and I have critical thinking skills, which are apparently rare . . . I mean, you would think that people would question a product that claims it can cure all of your problems, but there are too many people who try shit like MMS (and goddamn it they give it to their children. Their children with autism. Goddamn it doesn’t that just make you want to poke those people’s eyes out). You would think that people would question something that makes you feel sicker, but these scum bags who design the products know that, and it’s all just a part of the healing process. Explosive diarrhea? It’s okay, that’s healing diarrhea. Stomach aches, nausea? It’s okay, it’s normal to feel that way you just have to be strong enough to stick it out before it will work (effectively making people spend more money on the sham). A BIG GAPING WOUND IN YOUR SKIN? Well, at least it wasn’t chemotherapy!
I know this stream-of-consciousness style is not my usual, but I have been keeping all these thoughts so zipped up because they make me so damn angry and anger is the emotion I most love to sqash because venting and railing just don’t feel natural to me, and I’m kind of scared of it, honestly. But, since this is anger directed at IDIOTS and horrible monstrous parents, well, then I guess I shouldn’t be so scared. You know, it occurs to me that anger is pretty taboo in Western culture and that could be an interesting idea to explore. Perhaps that will be my next rabbit hole.
Alright, hopefully I’ll see you on Monday with my next Fundamental of Personal Growth. If I can escape from this rabbit hole for a few hours, that is.